Eval Kineval Can Get On The Plane

Indiana Jones and the Something Something

My lovely wife and I saw the new Indy.

My thoughts on it are that it is remarkably similar in relation to its franchise as the recent Die Hard movie was. They were both entertaining -- certainly not a wasted night out -- but both suffered from similar inherent flaws.

For one thing, the drive to top the previous movies results in hyperbolic stunt-writing which goes well beyond straining credibility. "Over the top" doesn't really do it justice.

For another, it's hard to keep the material from sinking to the status of pointless Boomer self-congratulatory vanity project. Any sequel is going to require the success of its predecessors to anchor it, but at a certain point you have to wonder why they bothered, except to soak in nostalgia.

Which is not to suggest that I didn't enjoy myself.

One aspect in which Indy has Die Hard dead to rights is in the potential for the continuation of the series by other means. Shia LeBoeuf could easily carry an Indy 5 with Harrison Ford in a secondary Marcus Brody style role. Die Hard 4, on the other hand, gave us the Mac Guy. Not exactly a figure in the mould of John McClane.

But that's okay. I have the million dollar idea to save the franchise. You ready for it?

Lucy McClane.

That's right, daddy's little girl kicks some ass. Throw in the Mac Guy as geeky shore support. It'd be awesome. It's Buffy the Terrorist Slayer.

You'd totally watch that. Don't say you wouldn't.

Chicken and Ribs Fest

For your edification, a summary of essential equipment to enjoy the Chicken and Ribs Fest.

- A cooler-bag
- Disposable moistened towlettes
- Disposable non-moistened towlettes
- Fresh baked corn bread
- Cool refreshing beverages
- Innocent looking opaque containers, if the aforementioned beverage is beer, as indeed it should be

Party

We had a birthday party thing for the Rocket and TeamHooking. There was cake ... oh my god, the cake. Next time I have nothing exciting to blog about, I'll tell you about the cake.

There were massive quantities of burgers. There was beer. There was a hot tub.

Awesome.

Die Hard 5 Script Generator

Terrorists from [GERMANY|THE US] show up on [CHRISTMAS|INDEPENDENCE DAY|ARBOR DAY], ostensibly seeking [FREEDOM FOR TERRORIST BUDDIES|REVENGE|REVENGE] while actually looking to score [FILTHY MONIES].

Add a chase and a few gunfights and you're good to go.

Just send my cheque to You Look Like a Nail, c/o the South Pole Temporal Expeditionary Association.

In Memoriam

You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people---Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalist, and just plain guys from Montana---are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time. That's the reality.

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion.

I find that if you go through life and you just don't give a shit, you'll be a happier person.

George Carlin
May 12, 1937 - 22 June 2008